For every good movie, there’s about a dozen bad ones. For every Prestige, there’s an Illusionist. For every Green Mile, there’s a Langoliers. Let’s take a look at my top 10 worst and least favorite movies of all time.
#10 – Robin Hood (2010)
Robin Hood is such a fascinating and classic character that it should be pretty hard to screw up, but this absolute bust of a movie from Ridley Scott and Russel Crower proves otherwise. This was one of the first movie dates I ever went on with my girlfriend and I’m amazed she ever let me pick another movie date ever again. To this day, she still brings it up and I’m sure I’ll never hear the end of it. Not that she’s wrong, this movie definitely sucks. The run time is an egregious 2 hrs and 36 minutes, which is plenty long enough to bore anyone to tears. Stay far away from this version and just go watch the Disney animated classic instead. I watch it just for the singing rooster.
#9 – Highlander
Highlander stars Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery in an “epic” “tale” full of “mysticism” and “courage”. It’s a really neat idea, it’s just buried under about 60 minutes of shlock and 80’s cheese. The concept of immortals who are born every few hundred years getting together and fighting for immortality because “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!” is pretty simple and fun, if done right. One of my favorite things to do is hype up this movie to a friend or family member and then watch all hope wither and die about halfway through this garbage movie. If you’ve seen this movie, don’t look at how many sequels and spin off tv shows there are, it’ll just make you sad. Rumor has it that Henry Cavill is going to star in a Highlander Reboot from Chad Stahelski of John Wick fame. I’m all for that, but not for this.
#8 – The Hobbit : The Battle of The Five Armies
All of The Hobbit live action adaptations are pretty bad, but this one is by far the worst. It was the CGI riddled and over adapted conclusion to this pathetic return to Middle Earth. I love The Hobbit, it’s one of my favorite books of all time. I read it every year and can’t wait to read it to future kids, nieces, nephews, etc at bedtime, the way JRR Tolkien read it to Christopher Tolkien. However, my goodwill towards Middle Earth and it’s associated novels does not extend to this awful movie. The whole thing just reeks of studio interference and I’ve not watched it since it was in theaters and probably won’t ever watch it again.
#7 – Prometheus
Following up #8 is Prometheus, another pathetic return to an established universe. What was supposed to explain the origins of the Xenomorph creature simply muddled the waters and prevented any sort of clean and understandable origin story. Everything about this movie should have stopped any fan of the franchise from endorsing its production. There are a few cool moments here and there, but they’re completely overshadowed by the insane choices made by Ridley Scott and the studios. I would rather watch Alien 3 or Resurrection than Prometheus.
#6 – Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
In what is arguably one of the worst Superman movies, we see the still talented Christopher Reeve return to the role of Clark Kent in one of the worst ideas ever. It’s easy to chalk this up to being a cash grab and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Nothing about this movie says that a fan of Superman was involved or cared enough about the character to actually make a compelling story.
#5 – Fantastic Four (2015)
The second attempt to create a believable Fantastic Four movie proved to be less successful than the original two movies. The movie lacked any semblance of a plot and yielded about 100 minutes worth of garbage. The dialogue was abhorrent and practically put me to sleep. I can’t find anything good to say about this movie other than The Thing looked alright.
#4 – X-Men : Apocalypse
Now I know that some may think I’m a DC fanboy (used to be, not so much anymore) because I’m putting two Marvel movies on this list. However, these movies were made way before Disney bought Fox studios and returned the majority of these characters to the stewardship of the all mighty hat man himself, Kevin Feige. Fantastic Four and all of the X-Men movies to date were Fox studios creations, and they have even less of a plan than the Sony Marvel characters do. That is incredibly apparent by the overwhelmingly disappointing X-Men catalogue (besides Logan and X2). Apocalypse took yet another great idea and adapted it straight into a pile of flaming garbage.
#3 – The Human Centipede 2 : The Full Sequence
This series of movies is one of the things that I never needed to see. If I could bleach these movies from my brain, I would do so in a heartbeat. I only ever watched the first movie out of pure morbid curiosity and unfortunately, the same is true for the sequel. However, the first movie was able to capture my attention because of the vile content alone, the second one failed to even do that. It was just disgusting for the purpose of being disgusting.
#2 – S. Darko
I’m not the biggest Donnie Darko fan, partly because I still don’t think I fully get it, but I’m willing to admit it’s a good movie. I like Jake Gyllenhaal, which is why I give the original a pass. However, they took the cerebral concept of the original and fired it into the sun. That’s how far of a departure this sequel is from the original movie. We should take all remaining copies of this movie and fire it into the sun instead and pretend it never existed. We should actually do that for all the movies on this list.
#1 – Mortal Kombat : Annihilation
I’ve given my thoughts and feelings on Mortal Kombat a few times on this site and I stand by those thoughts when I say that this is without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen in my life (thus far). I hope I never have to watch it again and would rather do my own root canal instead. Any semblance of quality that the original had was lost in this abysmal movie.
So, what do you think? Let me know @MoviesNotFilms on twitter, or leave a comment. Some honorable mentions were Sea Fever, The Color Out of Space, and The Last Jedi (kidding… or am I?).
2 responses to “My Top 10 Worst Movies”
How about your top 10 best movies?
I’m planning on making that list eventually!